When the Menu is Manna

          Lord, I Want to Know You More I t is very early, and a gentle hush covers this aging house except for the whispers, breathing, slight movements or shifting, and creaks that seem to come from nowhere. They are welcomed and familiar sounds to me, so much so that I no longer consciously hear them. Over time, they have become an intricate part of me and my devotion to this beloved place I call home. ​ It's a peaceful time of day with a pen and cup in hand. I once again write down my thoughts, recall questions, contemplate plans, and even dream of my desires. All of my quests seem to come to life and dance across the pages of my journal as the wet ink hits the page. Somehow, through the inking of each thought, they become possibilities. So, I stop for a moment. I take in the stillness of the morning in this sacred meeting place, even if it is only the corner of the kitchen table, and I am awakened, Lord, to your wonder and the possibilities You have for me....

Tattered and torn, it has seen its better days. The pages tinted with age have underscores, circles, and highlights that mark significant things, truths not wanted to be forgotten. The pages have wrinkles and water spots where tears have fallen before they could be caught, as well as coffee stains  and  specific markers of early morning or late-night hours spent searching, grappling, soaking up, and sometimes wrestling with truth. The outside has seen better days, too. The spine is detached from the text hanging by a thread, and the brown leather cover with gold embossed letters is gone, leaving it nameless. Frankly, it is, all in all, a mess, ready to be replaced by another. I don’t see it that way, not in the least. The detail with which it has been described pales compared to its actual value. As the beholder, I am prompted to look beyond the flaws and tiredness of the shell of such a work and see its wonder, beauty, and strength. I love that it is tattered and torn, for th...

Growing up, we waited all year long for the high school yearbook to be published. It was the teller of tales of the year through candid photos and captions. The blank pages were a perfect canvas for well wishes for friends and love notes from crushes. The most sought-after pages were the accolades. Who would be Mr. and Mrs. High School? Most Athletic, Class Favorite, or Homecoming Queen? Truthfully, most knew the answer to these just by observation. However, the waters became muddied regarding Most Likely to Succeed. What were the criteria? Was this based on reading every textbook cover to cover? Was it having the most drive or the gift of organization? What about leadership or the highest-grade point? Was it all of these qualities and more? I always wondered how they decided on this accolade. After all," most likely" is a phrase that sends the message that something will "most likely" happen. It's the opposite of - you guessed it, the least likely.  I never saw...

 Wait! I've got a plan! Have you ever said this? If I've said this once, I've said it a thousand times. I can't help it. I am a planner. Plan is my middle name. Being such has its good points, such as reaching goals, following through, and being counted as dependable. Yet even with these seemingly good qualities and a favorable outcome, my tendency to plan has sometimes taken me off the intended path through some unintended experiences before finding my way again. I recant at such times: "Why did I do that?" Clearly, there was a better way as well as the recounting of the "would have," "should have" afterthoughts - if only I had listened.  In the book of Samuel, God has unfolded his plan for Samuel to guide the Israelites. He never intended for them to have a king because He was their King. It was a perfect plan because God designed it. Yet, the Israelites turned their attention to the world around them. Other nations had kings, so why coul...

 Surrender. When it is all said, when efforts have been exhausted and laid to rest, the time comes to make a choice. That, is a conscious decision to let go of tiresome self-made efforts, hours of human reasoning, numerous checklists that in our minds have far more positives than negatives for doing things our way, and finally releasing that insatiable desire to control and make a specific outcome happen. It is time to relinquish power without giving up hope. Time to give this hold on your life over to someone else who can and will do what is best for you. His name is Jesus. Possibly, your thoughts go something like this: "Sure, I believe the Bible. I know the "Greats" of scripture had miraculous things to happen in their lives and were assigned tasks that only God could perform through them, but that is not my life. After all, God has never spoken to me in a dream that I would rule over, much less save a country, as He did with Joseph. Nor has He asked me to lead a minu...

It was late in the afternoon. Just having arrived home from a busy day, I was thinking about the same question I always had at this time of day. What's for dinner? As usual, I should have already had a plan, but old habits, mine being meal-prepping, take time to break.  Suddenly, looking out of the kitchen window, I saw her, an older woman, pushing a shopping cart with what appeared to be all of her life's possessions. Immediately, my heart sank. How did she get to this point? Where was her family? Did she have a place to sleep, and the obvious, which I was currently considering for my own family, what would she eat that night?  While thinking about what I could do to at least alleviate the hunger problem, a small car rounded the corner, zipping past her, and then stopped on the side of the road. A young man quickly exited the vehicle from the driver's seat. He was carrying a pizza box from one of the local chains. Indeed, the woman had not ordered a pizza, I thought to mys...

 I had the "I don't wannas. Now, I was paying for it. Facing dishes piled high in the sink, a laundry collection resembling Mount Everest, and a stack of neglected paperwork, the movie I ditched my tasks for seemed worth it - at the time. But now, I was face to face with the consequences of choosing to ignore my "to-dos." I tried to reason through this momentary malfunction in my decision-making, but I struggled to find a clean blouse to match my outfit. My choices and neglecting what I knew I should do hung over me like a wet blanket. I had chosen what I wanted to do rather than what I should have done - and this wasn't the first time.   I am convinced that no one understands the "I don't wannas" better than Moses. In Exodus, Chapter 31, he left Mount Sinai with a well-thought-through plan for leading the children of Israel. It was solid and sure, straight from the mouth of God, but his good intentions didn't quite work out the way he had plann...