The I Don't Wannas

 I had the "I don't wannas. Now, I was paying for it. Facing dishes piled high in the sink, a laundry collection resembling Mount Everest, and a stack of neglected paperwork, the movie I ditched my tasks for seemed worth it - at the time. But now, I was face to face with the consequences of choosing to ignore my "to-dos." I tried to reason through this momentary malfunction in my decision-making, but I struggled to find a clean blouse to match my outfit. My choices and neglecting what I knew I should do hung over me like a wet blanket. I had chosen what I wanted to do rather than what I should have done - and this wasn't the first time. 

 I am convinced that no one understands the "I don't wannas" better than Moses. In Exodus, Chapter 31, he left Mount Sinai with a well-thought-through plan for leading the children of Israel. It was solid and sure, straight from the mouth of God, but his good intentions didn't quite work out the way he had planned. After 40 days and nights, the people grew tired of waiting for Moses to come down from the mountain and give them directions from God about how to live and worship. Instead, The Israelites had a momentary malfunction in executing the plan Moses was to provide them with. Taking matters into their own hands, refusing to wait on God, they made a golden calf to worship and danced around it in front of God and everybody. It was an all-out free-for-all and a bad case of the "I don't wannas."

The scene most definitely caught Moses by surprise - not what he had planned for the day! With a great sense of "I don't wanna" deal with their disobedience, he threw out the plan. Not only that, but Moses also threw out the tablets. Call it a lapse in judgment or, rather, a bad mistake! This unforeseen and drastic move cost Moses another forty days of instruction from the Lord concerning the expectations for the people, pleading for mercy for their unruly behavior and forgiveness for his actions, which were not much better than those of the Israelites. 

The "I don't wanna moments" in life have consequences—sometimes minimal, like a messy house, dirty laundry, or even an unruly stack of papers that seem to be choking out any possibility of pleasantness, and sometimes harsh results with long-lasting consequences. Such moments always seem to find us at a crossroads, requiring a decision to be responsible, cautious, and mindful or to indulge in momentary pleasures. Either way, we have an invitation to which we must respond.

When Moses approached the camp and saw the calf and the dancing, his anger burned, and he threw the tablets out of his hands, breaking them to pieces at the foot of the mountain. And he took the calf the people had made and burned it in the fire; then he ground it into powder, scattered it on the water, and made the Israelites drink it." 

Exodus 32: 19-20

Disregarding a few dirty dishes, a pile or two of laundry, and a few stacks of unfinished paperwork—maybe, well most likely—but the "golden cow" things of the here and now, — that's a definite no. 

In their hearts, humans plan their course, 

but the Lord establishes their steps.

Proverbs 16:9