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When You Feel Invisible

 




It was the beginning of a new season of Bible study. I was a young stay-at-home mom who looked very forward to "getting out of the house" without the diaper bag, cheerios stuck to my sweater, or the infamous smiley face stickers from the that well-known superstore that my eldest loved to stick in strange places. In particular, she would stick them on my backside unknown to me at least  until I stood up in one of the front row pews at our church, and the need for check in the mirror along with a pocket check began. 


As I pulled into the parking lot, I was apprehensive. I didn't know anyone, and crowds were not my thing then and still aren't now. I nervously entered the room and placed my belongings on a seat, among others, which looked like a safe place until I could get my bearings and maybe even meet other people braving the stay-at-home mom time in life. 


The gathering was a well-established Bible study group. I decided to step out for a minute to take a few deep breaths and check my appearance in the ladies' room to ensure I did not look like I had two heads and to find that lone surviving cheerio that was quite possibly still attached to my sweater. I thought it would be easier now to reenter the room because I knew where my place was, but such was not the case. When I returned, my belongings were somewhere else. Never was a word mentioned about moving me right out of the seat I had chosen. The laughing, cajoling, and catching up continued among this well-acquainted group. At the same time, I scrambled to find my things and a new place to sit. They were dropped onto another seat so a group of besties could sit together. Shy as I was, this sent any confidence I had managed to muster right out the window. I was disappointed that I was invisible, and no one tried to include me. I wanted to believe the thoughtless action of this tight friend group was unintentional. However, didn't they see my belongings? Indeed, they knew the possessions they so aimlessly moved belonged to someone. Didn't they see me? I had been so eager to learn from this study and find my place with some like-minded women in the same walk of life. I didn't say a word, but rather sat in the new spot picked for me, keeping my eyes peeled towards the leader of the study, hoping no one would see my flushed face laced with embarrassment. I endured the session, but I never returned. In hindsight, no one in the room probably knew what had happened, and I did not take the initiative to show myself friendly. I should have made more of an effort myself to join in, but that mindless action zapped my confidence and paralyzed me. I lacked confidence. The last thing I wanted to do was to stand up or stand out. At that point in my life, I needed someone to see me, take me in, and let me learn from them and alongside them. It wasn't an intentional on-purpose exclusion, but it gave me a pretty good idea of what it would be like to be invisible. 


In the 16th chapter of Genesis, Hagar, Sarah's handmaiden, is in quite a predicament. She is now the mother of Abraham's first son, and even though it was Sarah's idea to obtain a child this way, her human side surfaced. Giving Hagar to Abraham and the young child born to them did not accomplish what Sarah intended. So, Sarah thought of only her wishes and did much more than move Hagar's belongings to another seat. Instead, she moved Hagar and her son completely out of the house and into the desert with little to no provisions. They were meant to be unseen, not protected or provided for if Sarah had her way. But there, amid the desert, Hagar was not unnoticed. The Angel of the Lord saw her and every need she had, even in the mess she found herself in. The story of Hagar is a beautiful reminder that we have a God who sees us in our distress, no matter how small or significant it is, and if it isn’t noticed by others.

Today, if you are in the midst of something difficult, maybe you feel unseen or even invisible, remember that God sees you. Not only does He see you, but He will also work on your behalf. Resist the temptation to walk out or give up. Instead, stand firm. "El Roi." We have a God who sees us no matter what others do or say. Knowing this should cause us to stand confidently to make our way through a room of strangers, forget about the cheerios stuck to our sweaters, and as for the smiley face stickers...no matter where they are stuck, keep smiling, for they remind us that God has an ending to our time of struggle. God Sees us. He's got this!

 She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” 

Genesis 16:13 NIV

 "She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

Genesis 16:13 NIV 

 

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