Steppingstones

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9

By now the line was shrinking ahead of me, yet endless behind me. I had been standing there for what seemed the equivalent of several eternities.  While waiting, I listened to the one-sided bantering of a disgruntled customer that was going on without restraint just ahead of me. Such talk did nothing to rectify the problem the angry passenger had with the dilemma we were all facing – missing the last flight of the evening. Clearly, the passenger and the ticket agent remained on opposite ends of what constituted a viable solution. I understood the frustration as I too had missed my last opportunity for a connecting flight that evening. I was tired, disappointed, and now annoyed at the situation I found myself in but more so at the situation this disgruntled patron ahead of me was creating. The tension began to rise in my temples, and my face was suddenly growing flush as I stood by and listened to the hateful remarks hurled in the direction of one that only had the power to alleviate the symptoms could not fix the problem. Steadily and quietly, the ticket agent continually moved through the process of explaining alternate routes and giving options for sending baggage ahead, and when it was obvious the disgruntled customer could not be satisfied, the agent extended meal vouchers and complimentary accommodations in a nearby value motel. With what I had witnessed up to that point, I could only imagine the response that was about to follow her offering. 

 “You mean to tell me that I have missed the last flight out of here tonight, and I am supposed to settle for this as compensation?” The angry patron referring to the vouchers and modest hotel accommodations said in a mocking tone to the young ticket agent, “You really went all out on the accommodations, didn’t you?”

Still explaining the inconvenience and dissatisfaction with everything about the service offered, the angry patron moved away from the counter continuing the negative remarks. My eyes were again fixed on the ticket agent waiting to see her response to the lingering comments. I was amazed at the calmness and poise of the agent watching as she moved through the entire ordeal. Obviously, this was not the first time that evening she had been someone’s scapegoat or whipping post, yet it upset me greatly.  I was next in line, and I had the urge to try to make everything right that the person before me had wronged her with. I was so embarrassed for her treatment, but to speak up was asking a lot of me. A battle began to rage within my spirit.

 No God, I thought to myself. I can’t say a word about this. There are droves of people behind me, and I just can’t speak out in front of all of them.

No matter how hard I tried, the stirring in my spirit, the kind of feeling that I just could not ignore continued, and so did my conversation with my Father.

Not audibly, but clearly, I understood Him to say, I didn’t ask you to make a speech and proclaim it loud enough for all within earshot to hear. I simply asked you to acknowledge the wrongness of this situation. 

At that point, I knew if I did anything less, I would be finding myself transported by the Holy Spirit all the way to the back of the line to wait so that I could be obedient the second time. I had no choice. Timidly, I made my way to the counter. I had no idea what I would say, and I quietly prayed for the right words to just roll off my tongue at the appropriate time.  After the same routine with me as she completed with the person before me, although this time it was much quieter, I knew my time to say something was running out. With a deep breath, I quietly moved up a little closer and fidgeting a bit I simply said, “I am sorry for what just happened to you. I appreciate the provisions.” Still emotionless, she said not to worry about it. That was all. No eye-contact. No break in sternness.  No inkling of compassion or a brief smile. I was shocked. It was not what I had expected, and it certainly had not yielded the results I had imagined it would after putting myself out their risking humiliation and the possibility that what just happened would be exactly what happened. I was very confused and disappointed. I didn’t say anything else. I certainly did not see the result I had hoped to see for my faithful, rather my obedience done under the guise of a holy ultimatum! If I had to extract a positive or two from this awful night, I was grateful for the free dinner awaiting me, the bed I would be able to sleep in rather than an airport chair and the fact that a shuttle would bring me back to this place tomorrow and try again to send me on my way. That night these reminders had to be enough. I had completed the mission set before me even if I had not seen resolve or even the slightest bit of gratitude for my weak but obedient attempt to be different, set apart from the crowd that night and offering of gratitude.
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Maybe you have had those moments when you felt compelled to act on behalf of a situation or person. You too tried to resist, but the beckoning voice continued to invade your thoughts and then made its way right into your heart. Maybe you went kicking and screaming, (figuratively, that is) but finally without any more excuses, you went. Maybe the result of your obedience sent a wave of relief sweeping over you like making it to home plate before the pitcher could throw a pitch fast enough have you called out.  Maybe you got to see the fruits of your labor and were reaffirmed of the importance of obedience or possibly, like me you did not see any confirmation that your obedience made a difference at all. 

The Bible says that God establishes or sets firm our steps. It doesn’t say that we are guaranteed that the outcome of our obedience will always be as we think it should be. Obedience is like a set of steppingstones. Each stone and each time we obey we are lead a little closer to a vessel ready to be used by God. Though there was no affirmation, no one acknowledged my action to affirm the ticket agent and there was seemingly no appreciation, though God’s will be done for that moment because I simply obeyed. There was not a happily ever after, no pat on the back about what a wonderful gesture I made, yet there was a seed planted that showed Christ likeness in a human being as flawed as I am. God had His moment through me if only for a second or two.  I was set apart that night delivering a different message than most of the passengers before and I assume after me delivered.  The night was full of mishaps, detainments and disappointments, but for me it was a good night full of all the goodness of understanding in a very practical way what it means to be separate or different than the norm. My mind again turned to those steppingstones. Tonight, I was one step closer, so I might as well keep on stepping.  

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. “

Galatians 5:25-26

New International Version

Bell, Stacia L. When the Menu Is Manna: Encounters with God in Everyday Living. 1st ed., CreateSpace, 2016. p. Chapter4.